Passion

Through middle school and high school, every time any talk of planning for the future, of choosing the right classes, came up, it always seemed that the topic of jobs versus careers did too.  Jobs, of course, are things people do for money, where as careers are field that people get jobs in. 

The analysis can be deeper than that though. Jobs can be in any field, doing any kind of work that one is qualified or able to do. Careers are usually fields people put effort into studying so that they may better get jobs that they want.  The whole point in having a career is being able to focus ones interests so that the person may better qualify for jobs.

But where to focus? Somewhere you're interested? possibly. Somewhere that's fun? maybe. Somewhere that's easy? could work.  Some combination of these? more likely.  It is foolish to suspect the everyone need the same thing from their career path. While it may be unlikely for people to need only something that fulfills any of those categories, I would suggest that most people need some combination.

I can't assume to be ably to apply this to everyone, but the combination I need is something I'm going to call passion.  For me to be passionate about something, I have to have and interest in it, but interest alone is not enough.  It needs to be fun in it's own way, and it must not be too difficult, because I'll get bored and frustrated otherwise. If I get bored or frustrated I know I'll not be able to follow through, at lest not without an amount of conviction that I find difficult to muster.

So, if passion is a must, then I must choose a field that I am passionate about.  I've told some people that I'd have majored in several things at the same time, if I could. Botany would certainly have been one, but so too would have been computer science. I think psychology, Spanish, and something creative like film or photography would have made the cut too.  Really, if I could I'd take Chinese, French, and Arabic in addition to my Spanish, just so I could talk to nearly anyone. Of course, that is highly unreasonable for me at the present.

There was a time last year I was torn between a career in Botany/microbiology and computer science. I suppose that the living side of that choice won out just in time to make it on my application.  I know I had a passion for science all my life, and plants were a large part of that especially up into high school.  My involvement with the American Chestnut Foundation is small evidence of that.  I was passionate about chestnuts. I was passionate about helping fix Earth's problems, especially correcting human blunders.  I think I am still passionate about helping people, fixing their mistakes, and paving the way for a better future, but the work along the way is tripping me up.

I'm currently taking some of the advanced plant biology courses that will help me "save the world" some day, and all of the material (at least the majority) is very interesting. The problem I suppose comes in part with the tediousnesses of the work. Memorizing the life cycles of a dozen different organism seems pointless giving the millions that exist. The electron transport chain I've seen before, but never in the depth we've now discussed, but why didn't I feel like learning it to that depth? Where is the passion to find out as much as I possibly could about every process; how and why it works? 

Maybe it's just lost in the flood of new information. Maybe it's lost in the confusion surrounding my relationship turmoil. It is true that academics didn't seem as important when it looked like one of my friends was having a breakdown, and our close mutual friend turned on me when I tried helping her.  I'm still getting back on my feel from that one.

In Young Life we had a discussion about how many of the leaders loose the passion to lead for periods... but that the important thing is to remember why you are doing it, and to keep pushing yourself to do what you need to.  Eventually the passion will come back.  I'm taking things out of context again, but I'm hoping that this will apply to my Career. I want to see that passion in biology again. The passion to learn.  For now I'm trying to stick it out, because the threat of failing out of school is too great.

I think I'll survive this battle. It's a hard one, but I'm not so weak as to fail. And when I do get the upper hand, I'll be that much better for having done it.  Prayers are always appreciated along the way; however.